How I Feel

This morning I was up at four a.m.! In order to catch the four forty five bus to work for five thirty, I had to be up early enough. It wasn't too bad because I went to bed around nine thirty. I guess I best get used to it because I'm on breakfast. Today was nice because we just did breakfast and then we got to go home! We served our first real breakfast today and it was kind of hard. We have an all you can eat breakfast but it's not a buffet, but plated. So the guests tell us what they want and we get it for them. I don't think this method works very well. We end up getting backed up twenty minutes and losing track of who's been checked on and it just makes life harder than a buffet. We're going to talk to James though and see if we can change that. The rest of my day has been totally relaxed. I took a nap cause I was pooped and then I've just been reading and watching stuff.

Guess what!? I don't have work the next two days either! Which means I can go to this YSA activity I wanted to go to on Saturday. The bad news is that I work on Sunday during church. It's quite devastating really but I was talking to Vanessa today about working on Sunday and here it is sometimes a necessity, because if you don't work that Sunday, you may lose your job to somebody who will. It's really sad and I don't like that they/I have to live with that. I just read in 1 Nephi about the millenium and when Jesus will rule and I just can't wait. I can't wait for everyone to be living the happy, fabulous lives that everyone dreams of. No one will have to work on Sunday! My patriarchal blessing has been just that, a blessing, out here as well. Along with praying and talking to Heavenly Father, I also get to read his letter that he's written to me through my patriarch. I find it to be perfect for me and reassuring when I'm out here, in the "real world", all alone. If you don't have your patriarchal blessing yet, get it. Sure you're supposed to wait until you're ready but I feel that whenever you get it you'll be ready. It will make you ready. I've found that I feel this way about missions as well. I think that you are supposed to feel ready and want to serve a mission but some of that preparation and desire comes when you just follow the Lord in faith and go. Sometimes you've just got to buck up and do what you know is right. Coming here has been the hardest thing ever! It may sound like a dream come true and it is, but it is so incredibly hard to keep the eternal perspective in mind. I get sad when I think about how I'm missing this summer at home and all the happiness and comfort I have there and then I think about how I probably wouldn't feel this way if I hadn't left. I know I wouldn't appreciate Utah, my family, my friends, my lifestyle if I hadn't gotten away from it all. Terrible and fabulous all in one.

That's how I feel right now. A lot of stuff goes through my head these days so I decided to spit some of it out. While saying these things I'm hoping that I'll be able to apply them as well. If I can see this experience in the right way and think about how it's just a teensy bit of my life spent learning to appreciate the things that I hopefully will have with me the rest of my life, I can be strong and not feel the need to fly home right away before I have to leave my comfort zone. Ha ha it has happened many a time here. :) If these "words of wisdom" don't help anyone else, they are for my benefit and future use so... "let it be". Love you all so much and know that God lives and with him we can be strong amidst the weak and happy amongst the sad.

The Beatles